A professional psychologist tells you how to respond correctly to inappropriate questions from colleagues and acquaintances.
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Ways to dealing with tactless question
Everyone has once had to be in an awkward situation and feel cornered by a tactless question. An overly curious colleague, cheeky acquaintances, or parents who are concerned about your future. It is noteworthy that internally this tactlessness often causes indignation, but outwardly people try to be friendly and reserved, trying to smooth out the conflict.
This gives the other person confidence in the correctness and relevance of their uncomfortable question. And to the second participant in the conversation – internal discomfort, embarrassment, and sometimes surprise, as a person could afford to ask this.
“A clever thought comes afterward.” The proverb clearly shows that the best answer usually comes to mind when the dialogue is already over, and you are still waving your fists in your imagination. Education, respect for your elders/rank, and unwillingness to incite conflict or make enemies do not allow you to respond sharply. How to get out of the situation, now we will analyze.
The first and most important point is to say that such questions are unacceptable or unpleasant for you. You don’t have to come up with polite phrases and calculate how and what to say so that they don’t take offense at you.
Do you find this unpleasant? You don’t want to answer? Just say so. – “I don’t think this question is appropriate”, – “I will leave this question unanswered”. You didn’t say anything offensive, but you defended your boundaries. Your internal balance is preserved, and the person next time will think about whether to ask such a question to someone else.
You can give a vague answer, without specifics. “Maybe”, “We are thinking about this issue”, “As soon as possible, so immediately”. It seems that your interlocutor received an answer, but it seems-nothing specific.
Humor is always great. If you have a sense of humor and know how to joke, this is the best weapon against any emotion, including negative ones. You can not only defuse the situation, but also lead the conversation in a different direction.
Question to question. It’s also a good tactic to change the conversation vector. Wanting to learn more from you, a person is faced with the fact that the same is expected of him. Anyone is pleased when they are interested.
Be straightforward. Perhaps the other person is waiting for you to start feeling embarrassed. Dispel his doubts: “Yes, this bag is fake”, “Yes, I weigh 75 kg”, “I am 42 years old”. Not a bit of embarrassment or confusion. And you will see how confused your interlocutor will already be.
Most uncomfortable questions,how to answer them
Do you eat meat?
So, let’s hit an off-road rally? Learn how to answer tactless questions! There are a whole set of specific rules on how to parry in a conversation with an ignoramus. Therefore, we make serious faces and remember psychological techniques.
Am I right in thinking that you want to discuss the pernicious lack of pork in my diet?
How much do you earn?
Many hours of sleep deprivation a week.
Do you have your own breasts/lips/eyelashes?
No, my friend gave me some clothes to wear.
Well, when will you have children?
When are you getting a cat?”.. How is it not up to the cat? What are you doing? You’re already 38! Time flies, then you want to get a cat, but it will be too late. Or maybe you have health problems?
Well,When to get married?
Right after your divorce.
If all else fails, start sneezing. Quiet and often, or once, but loud. This distracts and disorientates the ignoramus. Or you can just silently and ambiguously smile.