How to fight with your parents and win

BE REASONABLE

You have to pick your battles wisely. If you approach your parents with a completely unreasonable request, then they are not going to give your request any attention at all. If you have been thinking of asking them for a pet tiger, maybe you should consider setting your sights in the real world and asking for a kitten or a trip to the zoo.

If you go to your parents with a request that is not realistic, then you are not going to win the fight, but if you think of a reasonable compromise before you even approach them, you are much more likely to get what you want. You have to understand that if you ask for something that is impractical, such as permission to jump off the roof onto a stack of mattresses, your parents are saying no because they know what is best.

You should think long and hard about your request before you make it so that you can be positive that you are not being irrational. If you are a teenager, and you are trying to get permission to go to an unsupervised coed sleepover at a friend’s house, you have to understand that your parents are saying no because they are worried that it is a dangerous position for you to be in for several reasons.

You might have more luck if you ask to go there until your curfew, or even an hour or so later tell them that they can drive you there and pick you up. They might be more open to allowing you to enjoy an unsupervised evening knowing that you are going to have to stay in line since they are going to be picking you up at the end of the night.

BE TRUSTWORTHY

If your parents are accustomed to giving you an inch and you taking a mile, then you are going to have a tough time trying to win a fight with them. Trust is the most important part of any relationship, including the parent-child relationship. If your parents trust you, then they will be confident that you are capable of making smart and healthy decisions for yourself.

On the other hand, if you have given your parents ample reasons to believe that you are not trustworthy, then they will not have any reason to believe that you are not manipulating them again. Basically, if you did the crime, you have to do the time meaning that if you lied to your parents, you are going to have to spend time regaining their trust before you start asking them for permission to do things.

To show your parents that you are an honest person who deserves to be trusted and given independence and responsibility, you should work hard to do well in school, do all of your homework, talk to your parents about your life and your friends, and help out around the house. Once your parents see that you are worthy of their trust and respect, you will be able to win some fights.

BUILD YOUR CASE BEFORE YOU PRESENT IT

You have to build a case for your argument or request before you approach your parents. For example, if you want to get a dog, you should be prepared to prove to them that you will be responsible for taking care of the dog. You have to reassure them that you will get up in the morning to walk the dog,

you will bathe the dog and groom him, you will make sure that the dog is fed and that it has fresh water and you will be accountable for training the dog. You have to do your homework to find out what breed of dog you want, or at least what size so that you can figure out what the needs for that type of pet will be. If you approach your parents with all of your ducks in a row, they will be impressed by your effort, and they are likely to feel that you are worthy of getting your way. Of course, you have to follow through with all of your commitments.

Your parents will most likely be responsible for financial needs that are associated with owning a dog, but you have to be reliable and consistent with daily care. This is an opportunity to prove to your parents that you are good for your word.

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