Boosting your child’s self-esteem can be a very touchy subject. Yes, we parents want to raise self-assured, self-confident children, but we do not want to raise children that have unnecessarily high images of them. We also do not want to create little monsters that want to run the house. There is a fine line between a healthy level of self-worth and a snotty, self-important child.
Should I let little Johnny or Suzie win all the time?
No! What are you teaching them about the real world? The number of successes a child should have depended on their age level. Sure, let your five-year-old beat you at checkers once in a while, but don’t let them always win. How will he or she react when confronted with a failure in real life?
What are better ways to boost my child’s self-esteem?
- Praise your child for doing a good deed or doing well at school.
- Catch him or her doing something right. When you see him or her picking up a piece of paper, tell the child that you think they are being helpful. Thank your child for the kindness.
- Encourage your children by really paying attention when they show you their artwork, school papers, and other creative works. If you just give them a quick compliment and only look for a second, the child can sense that you are not being sincere.
- Applaud your children’s effort to improve. Perhaps little Sally just brought her grade from a B or a C up to an astounding A. How should you react? We parents should not only get very excited but also perhaps give the child an unexpected reward. This is positive reinforcement.
- Listen to your child when he or she speaks to you. Ask your children questions. As parents, we will encourage our children to develop their verbal skills. Make them know that their ideas and views are important. This also maintains a line of communication between parent and child, which is critical as the child grows older. When children know that their parents will truly listen to them, they are much more ready to come and talk to them about their difficulties.
Self-esteem is an important thing to instill in our children, but so is humility. Before praising your child without any regard for the effect that it has on him or her, think. Really think if it is warranted. Is it age-appropriate to let a ten-year-old win over and over? Perhaps this does more damage. Should your child be learning a few of life’s hard facts?
We want to have happy, well-adjusted children that have high self-esteem, but we do not want to raise pompous children that others will view as spoiled brats. We need to raise children that are sympathetic to others- children that have a sense of humanity. Too many kids today are much too quick to tease others without regard to just how that damages the other person.
We want kids who head their heads high, but not kids who have no concept of reality. Make sure that you do not cross that very fine line when helping your child to have a good self-image.We want kids