Many people scoff at men and women who don’t realize that their spouse has been cheating on them. They can’t imagine how someone could be oblivious to the fact their significant other is being unfaithful. Everyone assumes that they would know if their partner was being unfaithful.
The fact of the matter is, however, that many individuals that are cheated on truly did not see it coming or realize it was happening. How do people have affairs without getting caught? Here are some of the ways:
Too Busy To Notice
In many cases, individuals who have affairs have partners that lead very full and busy lives. For example, a mother of three children under the age of six who is also juggling a full-time job may not have the time to reflect on why her husband is working long hours or acting somewhat distant.
She doesn’t have the energy to devote her attention to what her husband is doing when he is out of the home. She trusts her husband, and so her guard is not up. Her husband knows that his wife is preoccupied, and he realizes that he has a good chance of getting away with an affair because she has too many other things to focus on.
If someone has a job that requires them to do a large amount of traveling away from their home and spouse, then it can be relatively easy for that person to have an affair without getting caught. They don’t have to worry about going home immediately after their indiscretion. A cheater on a business trip can lie about what he is doing and who he is with, and his spouse (or her spouse) has no real way of verifying his accounts.
If the business trips are legitimate (meaning that the cheater isn’t just altogether lying about being away on business), then it is easy to have flings without a spouse finding out. Cheaters on business trips have the ability to cover their tracks in a thorough way.
For one, they are far away from home, and therefore, they can meet people who do not know them or their spouse or anything about them a no-strings-attached situation is much more viable than it would be with someone from their home town. Plus, the cheater can shower and clean up before going home, making sure that there are no signs of the affair, such as lipstick on the collar or the scent of another woman’s perfume or man’s cologne.
Many affairs in modern society are aided by technology. Unfaithful husbands and wives can give out their private cell phone number rather than having to worry about getting calls at home from the people they are having affairs with. If they keep their phone off and tucked away when their spouse is around, they may be able to cover up the affair.
Also, computers and the internet are often used by individuals who are trying to cover their cheating tricks. People communicate via instant messenger services and e-mail, and often times, their spouses do not have access to their passwords or they simply are not familiar with the technology themselves, so they wouldn’t even know where to begin if they wanted to try spying on their spouse’s computer activity.
Good Old-Fashioned Trust and Manipulation
Often times, cheaters are very good and convincing liars. They are able to convince their spouse that they don’t have an unfaithful bone in their body. They become very defensive and claim to be hurt when accusations are thrown their way.
If they have a trusting spouse, they may even be able to manipulate the situation so that their spouse ends up apologizing for being accusatory. They act on the philosophy that goes deny, deny, deny! In many cases, cheaters are able to get their spouses off their backs so well that they can continue with their affairs without getting caught.